Hello!

Power encounter with Jesus on 08.08.08

2008-08-08T19:51:00.001+01:00

I attended Prayer and Praise night. Had dinner with Sab before that, it was a quick dinner but we managed to share some pretty solid stuff. Masala chicken was awfully salty.

Kihui came! Introduced her to some people. Worship began.

I remembered thinking, haiyo... wish this worship session would be done differently.. . Oh no, poor band dynamics... oh no, too much gain causing feedback, went to the back, checked sound system, turned off aircon...

Then we were told it's time to pray. Honestly I just wanted to sing to God, but I turned to Kihui and prayed for her anyway.

We sang another song. Then we were told to pray again! Amazingly Doreen came to pray for Kihui promptly, so Kihui was prayed for. I didn't know what to pray. I just wanted to sing to God and relax in His presence.

Gideon came over, shared a bit, then we both sang This Is My Desire, full harmony. It was great just singing to God.

Then pastor Adrian came onstage and shared about how God wants to fill us not just to ankle, to waist, but to overflowing. He got some parts of the anatomy wrong and we laughed! But when he said “whoever wants more of God, come forward, the altar is open.” I knew that was me. Promptly I took my bible and went forward.

We sang the next song. I sang with all my heart. Then there was free worship, and I remembered thinking, Lord, I need You so much. Please fill me with the Spirit. I really want to be filled to overflowing today.

Everyone else sang another song, but I didn't want to anymore. I just concentrated on asking God to fill me. I just bowed my head, opened my hands, pleading.

First, Doreen walked over, and she prayed the following things spot on:

That somehow, lots of rubbish has been thrown to me, and that God will remove them so that He can flow through in a clear channel (I remembered thinking, wow, rubbish? What rubbish? Hrmm... yeah I think there's quite a bit of rubbish indeed)
That I've neglected / been lazy with the Word, and that I should stop that. Spot on.
That I'm the apple of His eye. That He loves me very much.
She prayed “Yes God give her what she wants, fill her with the Spirit” i remembered thinking, how did she know that ? ?

Then, Pastor Adrian came over. He'd been walking around praying for everybody. I was deeply concentrating on God still, when he came over and in his loud, rambling style, prayed fervently that God will fill me, fill me, fill me with the Holy Spirit, that I will be swept away in His rivers today. I remembered responding Yes many times, waiting, just waiting for the Spirit to do something for me.

I remembered telling God that I want to be filled till I fall in His power. I could sense His Presence already, that numbing sense in my body, but I wasn't quite able to fall yet, and if I fall, I know it'd be coordinated. I know God won't push me (I was semi swaying I think) because He's a gentleman, but I did tell Him, God, let me fall in such a way that , before I know it, I'm already on the floor. I had never fallen in the Spirit before, so it was scary, but I was too thirsty for God, to think about that.

I concentrated on Him some more, still standing, still waiting, still pleading. Then amidst singing and music, I heard “Sandra look up. The Lord has something to say to you.” I opened my eyes, saw army uniform, wondered for a while who that was (!) only to see that it was Euclid, surprised that he'd arrived. He then said “The picture I saw for you, is something hazy. Tonight I ask God specifically for a clarity of purpose, of calling, of direction.” ABSOLUTELY spot on, depicting my work situation about how to take over Tian Hui's role. He then continued to pray for me to be filled with the Spirit, and then, I clearly remember, after praying for me for probably just 15 seconds, I felt that numbness fill me very quickly, till it reached my head, my brains, and it was at that moment when I know it was DEFINITELY the Holy Spirit, and indeed I couldn't even resist if I wanted because my whole body was numb and weak, and I really, really fell. (Even before I fell, I looked and made it a point I would fall to the left since there was no one there, and that I would fall sideways so that my arms could support and I wouldn't break my spine)

And there I was, lying sideway at the left, head buried in hands, and I found myself crying HEAPS, while noticing that incredible numbness all over my body, especially my head. And yes it's true, I am still fully in control, still fully voluntary in my actions, still aware of what's going on, but I was really, really enjoying myself, lying there, crying, knowing that over there, it was just God and me, and it was what I really wanted. I cried heaps. I wanted Jesus so much.

Then I found myself shivering. I remembered shivering, teeth chattering VERY hard, very loudly! It was abnormal. I tried to resist, and I stopped chattering. But when I let go, I was chattering hard again. Then I decided OK i would let God do anything. Whatever You want to do Lord I let You do. I let go, I won't resist. And I was still so hungry, so desperate for God! Lying there I kept praying, “Oh Jesus ! ! ...... I want so much more, much more of You..... Do whatever You want in me...”

Some kind soul covered me with a jacket. Another kind soul (whom I later found out was aunty Alice) put tissue in my hands and said “Praise God, Sandra. You have surrendered.”

And then, most incredibly, I found myself, amidst tears and mucous all over my face and hands, and all that teeth chattering, I really, really started to laugh. It was a very hearty laughter, and at first I controlled so I wouldn't laugh too loud, because it was weird and distracting others. But I clearly remembered, that when the songs were at climax and everyone was singing very loudly, I began to let go, and I then laughed VERY hard, so hard I actually hit the floor (the way I usually hit things around me when I'm really guffawing), as if I was laughing VERY comfortably amidst close friends about a really, REALLY funny joke. Now I can be so sure that this is something I CANNOT fake, or re-enact. It was completely incredible. I'm not even thinking about a joke or anything funny, but I kept laughing AND laughing AND laughing!

So there I was, I think I laid there possibly for another 45 minutes? Just laughing, resting, coughing a little, heaving for some oxygen, then laughing again! All supernatural! But I remembered, it's amazing! I'm so amazed at God, all the while I'm just really wanting to praise Him, attempted to raise hands, attempted to move lips to sing along (still lying down!!) , but I couldn't because my extremeties were all STILL numb and I was still drunk in the Holy Spirit, and I chose, MANY times, just to lie back on the floor, to laugh!

All the while I was aware of what was going on around! Euclid praying “Yes Lord! May she be drunk in the Holy Spirit, fill her with the joy of the Lord...” pastor Adrian praying “May the joy of the Lord be her strength” (seriously I was laughing SO LOUD everyone HAD to know. I remembered thinking to myself, this would NOT have been possible if I weren't at a place I was comfortable in. Like, I knew the people here, I felt at home on the church carpet, which allowed me to let loose, and it was wonderful being in that position.)

I was even aware of wrong bass notes, bad build-ups, inconsistent tempo, but all the while lying on the floor, very drunk in the Spirit, laughing and shivering still!! Aunty Alice came to check a few times to see I was OK, only to smile and say “haha she's alright, still filled with the joy of the Lord' and yes, I just kept on laughing.

Incredible!!

Towards the last song I tried very hard to get up and praise God, jumping... (it was Praise You by planetshakers!!) but my limbs, my limbs were all still so numb, it was a great effort standing. I remembered thinking if I had a bed I really would just lie there and relax and just be with God.

When the night was over (1045pm thereabouts) I got up with great effort, but was shivering very badly, then I realized I was very cold from the aircon, so I went outside to thaw, and to ensure that if I was shivering and chattering, it would be from the Lord and NOT the cold.

Everyone pretty much left the place already.

I brought my things down to church office and Joel and aunty Alice were chatting there a little. I remembered sitting at someone's chair and lying there, resting. Still feeling the numbness all over, which, to my surprise, wore off sooooooooo slowly! It was incredible, and any little joke triggered me to laugh very hard. I kept telling Joel “don't get me started ah hah ah ah ha hahahhahaa”

The whole experience really encouraged and amazed me because

People after people released words that were fully accurate. Surely God was talking to me, through them.
I encountered that God is really, really REAL because that numbness, that infilling happened fast, and strong, and I really fell (and I always doubted if I could). I encountered Holy Spirit – enabled crying, shivering, laughing, and it was really extremely incredible. Best of all, it felt SO shiok because I was filled with God and His presence was so real and strong, that I remembered wondering if this would be even better than sex.

During supper, when I saw Darren eating his last piece of prata with sugar and curry, then putting the whole chunk into his mouth and eating, the Lord spoke to me. He said, “as a parent, won't you be so happy looking at your child, feeding himself? You won't have to worry about him being malnourished because he has learnt how to feed himself. Sandra I want you to learn to feed yourself too.” I know it was God telling me, that I NEED to revamp my Word life. I need to inject consistency.

Wow.

An incredible night.

Jesus, alone, be praised.

2007-12-10T11:07:00.000Z

Hello everyone! Here are some photos to share from NZ :)

This is a pic of us outside Circus Circus which is a cool cafe along Mt Eden Road.

Mocha Latte - finally! @ Escape Cafe. Overrated by Aaron and Keith I reckon.

Protective Pain

2007-10-14T05:33:00.000+01:00

Is pain always bad?

Are limits always a loss?

Pursuing happiness seem to be the goal of life. A life of least pain may be the goal of some.

But God is interested in our character. He inflicts pain - so that we are humbled and grow wise. He disciplines and restricts what we want (even those that seem reasonable to own) - so as to protect us from who we will BECOME, IF we have our desires gratified.

Imagine:

Pain that actually protects?

Limitations that are actually shields from unknown danger?

I believe that is just how good God is. He withholds, so as to ultimately give us the best.

"Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' OR I may become poor and steal, and so dishonour the name of my God." Proverbs 30:8

May He grant us the wisdom to resonate with this - and here's the tough part - in all circumstances!

Thoughts on a recent incident.

2007-07-25T15:47:00.001+01:00

Grappling. Struggling.

It’s coming right back again.

The sin and all the pain.

Shame. Guilt. Regret. Sin.

I’m terribly unclean!

Unwanted? Unsurprised.

I battle. I retaliate.

Forgeting the past, straining ahead.

Surely there’s more to these errors?

Yet I’m cleansed. Entirely renewed.

To the point of complete peace!

I cannot explain this.

He still hurts. The pain still burns.

“Consequences suck!” -

For the first time, I learn.

A silly choice. A foolish act.

Little did I expect;

I’m not the only one involved.

Yet he accepts. Yet he forgives.

What else can I say?

‘Tis a good and perfect gift!

When He defends, when He acts,

Amazed, I watch in wonder

He’s better than all lawyers!

In retrospect, as I reflect

I cannot help but conclude:

my God is very good.

Very, very good.

Thank You Jesus.

Paktorlogy

2007-07-01T09:20:00.000+01:00

Yo world! Meet my best friend Dr. Aaron Lau!

I'm certainly learning this: That there's no greater blessing than being in a relationship with Christ in the centre.

And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Unprecedented excitement

2007-06-25T11:56:00.000+01:00

I don't think I've ever been this excited in my life.

Couldn't sleep much, couldn't eat much.

Don't think I've ever imagined any scenario more times than this one.

And it's almost an hour away!!

I'm walking in His blessing!

2007-06-20T14:45:00.000+01:00

And that's one thing I really, really, really, really can't deny.

I'm absolutely amazed.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

What is your response when you are being given, literally GIVEN, FREE OF CHARGE, not only a good gift, but a PERFECT one?

It's exactly the one you're asking for - wait. It's even better than what you've been asking for!

I think I really have to say, for the first time I'm encountering and believing more than ever before, that the God I serve is a God who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20)

Wow. Lord. What can I do, except that every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise!!!

Speech

2007-06-19T16:43:00.000+01:00

Was just reading another parenting book - Leading Teens to Freedom in Christ by Neil Anderson and Rich Miller. Some stuff struck me afresh.

I came across a verse I once held dear, and have gradually forgotten:

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification [building up] according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Eph 4:29

The next verse tells us the Spirit of God is grieved when we use our tongues to tear down.

Reckless words do not wreck less, they wreck more.

Wow.

What an important reminder.

I recently watched a movie which uses the F word like, every 2 minutes. Was getting disturbed, and wondered to myself, will I get unknowingly influenced, and could I possibly start using this word too?

Now that the Lord has answered my question by showing me this verse, I'm gonna make the choice - to not LET any unwholesome word PROCEED from my mouth.

And He reaffirmed from Proverbs 4:24 - Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

May the words of my mouth serve to build up only, and never tear down! May this be so for every student I teach!

I've just moved !

2007-02-22T15:03:00.000Z

OH MY GOODNESS.

You mean you're still checking my blog to see if I'll update? :)

Anyways, I've moved to http://fedbyravens.photoblog.com

Enjoy the photos!

Regards,
Sandy Beach

What inspires me...

2006-12-07T08:16:00.000Z

This man does!

http://www.blackgospel.com/interviews/israelhoughton/

I love googlepages!

2006-12-03T19:24:00.000Z

It's the easiest thing to use! Plus 100MB of free uploads? Everyone can start e-classes at home!

Check out my original compositions here:
http://sonicsand.googlepages.com

Trans Fats!

2006-11-21T13:17:00.000Z

Recently Minwei told me to watch out for Trans Fats which are highly dangerous. After reading this article, I realize I've been eating lots of it recently!

http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/library/fitness/10foods.htm

I find it's terribly hard to avoid Trans Fats intake if we eat out, esp when they are being used in less obvious ways like meats fried in margarine (#1 killer)... How else can we avoid/reduce its intake, unless we cook stuff ourselves with an obsessive avoidance of this substance?

Hady rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-24T14:48:00.000+01:00

Hady sang wonderfully at the Singapore Idol finals! I'll be SOOOOOOOOOOOO proud if he is Singapore Idol! He's so good that I can even envision him in the Top 10 of American Idol, comparable to those powerhouses there. I think a singer is REALLY good if I can see myself BUYING the album and playing his songs on repeat mode. I can't for Jon Leong (sorry Jon fans!) but I absolutely can for Hady. Go Hady!!!

I'm still waiting for Mandisa and Paris' albums to be out too. They're my faves from American Idol season 5!!

Of scenic routes

2006-09-20T13:32:00.000+01:00

Today I drove to school via Mandai Road and it was a wonderful discovery!! The route was extremely scenic and there were significantly less cars than on the PIE (there were more 'big guys' though. Mr. Lorry and Mr. Trucks...). I think i'll be driving via this beautiful route everyday. And if I'm extremely stressed and need an escapade urgently, I can ever turn into the zoo, which is on the way!

After lessons in Tampines, I took daddy's advice and drove home via TPE, SLE, Mandai Rd, KJE. Lovely routes there too. Yay! Now I look forward to these long journeys where I just rest my left leg while keeping at 5th gear mostly. Plus I would be heading home at about 6:45pm, and I'm travelling westwards, where the sun is setting, so the sky is exceptionally beautiful.

If I could take a photo while driving there, I would, and I would post it up here to share with y'all the beauty. Don't worry I don't think I'll be trying that. :)

Driving with Miles Davis is really cool too. Realize that when I drive, I concentrate so hard that I can't really pay attention to lyrics, so there's no point listening to songs that are more meaningful on the words, cos they'll just fly by my ears.

Diana Krall's latest CD is really good!! Go get it!

Davis and Krall

2006-09-19T16:03:00.000+01:00

Today, I bought a Miles Davis CD for just $14.90 at Sembawang Music! Considering most CDs are $20 odd, I think it's a steal!

Am listening to the CD now. I realize I really do quite like Miles Davis. :)

Also excited about new Diana Krall album From This Moment On.

Rejuvenating Swim

2006-09-17T15:10:00.000+01:00

I blog mainly to tell of how nice the Lord is.

After finding out that my pulse rate is at an awfully unhealthy rate of 84 per minute (!!!! Thanks to session @ CCC today) I felt I had to go exercise.

I drove to Bukit Batok CSC and decided to swim intensively for half an hour even though there was impending rain. I told the Lord I was only gonna swim for half an hour and because I had no watch with me (and I was way too short-sighted to see the public clock) I told Him to tell me when it's about half an hour so I could get back home in time.

To my pleasant surprise, for quite a while there was bright sunlight (despite the dark clouds!) and I was having a really nice time praying for people, situations... while swimming.

Then suddenly the sky turned really dark, so I felt I had to get up just before it pours. Turned out that I had swam for about 33 minutes! I'm pleasantly surprised at the accuracy. I quickly headed to the carpark, and the moment I got to the car, it started to pour cats and dogs.

I'm just so affirmed, like a daughter who's just been sayanged by a father who really loves her very much. It's like asking daddy for ice cream and him buying it for me, something that I can do without, yet something he allows me to enjoy. That half an hour of a swim.

And I'm really rejuvenated after that too! Despite an intensive swim (didn't stop at all!) I felt a lot stronger than before I swam.

Let's see if I can hit the pool again after the NIE course tomorrow. Hrmm. :)

I finally get jazz!!

2006-09-16T12:14:00.000+01:00

I'm so thrilled! I just sat at the piano and played 3 hours worth of jazz piano. Started my jazz lessons 2 weeks ago, and after 2 lessons, I'm FINALLY understanding what II-V-I means. You know how you surf the net and try to learn, and the lesson never really gets through because there was never anyone to demo the endless II-V-I stuff? I finally got it, and I'm so excited! Because I was actually playing stuff heard in Diana Krall's CD - my absolute fave jazz singer + pianist!

The other day the Lord reminded me something crucially important from Richard Foster's book Celebration of Disciplines, may this bless you.

3 inner attitudes to have if you want freedom from anxiety:
(1) If all you have, you receive as a gift
(2) If all you have is to be cared for by God
(3) If all you have is available to others

This is especially true when the 'what you have' is actually another PERSON.

In Uniform

2006-09-03T15:18:00.000+01:00

On thursday we had teachers' day celebrations and I wore the school's uniform! Borrowed it from two rather tall girls in my form class. This is Laura, also a student in my form class.

It's quite cool walking around school without being noticed as the teacher. This camouflage really works, especially when you tie up your hair. :)

Reward!

2006-08-21T16:05:00.000+01:00

I just finished setting Q2 & Q3 of the sec 3 end of year paper - WOOHOO!!!!!!!! *applause*

There was just SO MUCH inertia getting started on setting this paper. Decided to reward myself with another quick entry here.

Now, Q4 & 5 to go...

Btw, I topped up fuel for the 2nd time on sunday, and asked the petrol uncle to pump air into the Honda City's wheels... SO FUN!!! Super exciting. And no I don't get commission but I think the Smiles rewards card at Esso Mobil is really very shiok. I save 10% every time I pump oil / buy stuff at the mart AND i earn points which I can redeem. Think I get to redeem $30 on next top up. Shiok right??

I've also just found a fellow car-crazy-colleague in AMK! Woo hoo! She lent me a car magazine today!!

Set apart

2006-08-21T14:06:00.000+01:00

Today I learnt this:

If your aim is to enjoy this world, you can't be a friend of God.
James 4:4, NLT

Am I enjoying this world too much?

New songs!

2006-08-17T15:59:00.000+01:00

Whenever there's fresh music in my mind, I'm always very excited! Right now my mind's filled with lots of Lincoln Brewster - All To You album (thanks Minwei!!) and Paul Baloche - Greater Song album (thanks Jogs!!), and I'm so lifted by those songs. Lovely songs.

I also think there's just something about me with these chords:

Ib IV I9
Ib IV I9

IV V Ib IV
II7 V I

They get me crazy man!!! If you know greek like me, then you'd know it's chords of 'Lord I'm Amazed'. I'm AMAZED that i can love this particular chord progression so much. Alongside with several others.

I think I just really love 1st inversion chords.

Something I'd like to share here is how I was utterly surprised to learn that my sec 3 O Music class couldn't tell chords and cadences! I was just about to teach them the 4 (to me very) simple cadences - perfect, imperfect, plagal, interrupted - only to find that they struggled with the very thought of locating the tonic!

The HARDEST thing was to be able to TEACH them. The class was quite a flop because I didn't get the learning point across at all. I tried to break it down but they still looked blankly. "Cher, are you speaking greek?"

And that also made me wonder HOWWWWWW on earth I got it - the very concept of chords, tonic, solfege, being able to hear bass line.... I think it has to be YAMAHA training. Guys, if you're gonna send your kids to music class, send them to YAMAHA. All my yamaha graduated friends can improvise and apply music much more flexibly than others. I think back to how I slogged through 2 different music classes every weekend since I was 8-14 years old... it must have been those years when my music foundation was built. Please don't envy me - at that time I faked diarrhoea every other week to avoid those lessons. They were painful to me. Plus I was ostracized because I was the tallest girl in class, and didn't dress as nicely as the rest. :)

If you can think of a good way to teach cadences, PRAY TELL ME!!!!

Something that God showed me that's blog-worthy:

God says HE DOESN'T WANT THESE:

7
"O my people, listen as I speak.
Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
I am God, your God!
8
I have no complaint about your sacrifices
or the burnt offerings you constantly bring to my altar.

9
But I want no more bulls from your barns;
I want no more goats from your pens.

10
For all the animals of the forest are mine,
and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

11
Every bird of the mountains
and all the animals of the field belong to me.

12
If I were hungry, I would not mention it to you,
for all the world is mine and everything in it.

13
I don't need the bulls you sacrifice;
I don't need the blood of goats.

Then WHAT DOES HE WANT?

14
What I want instead is your true thanks to God;
I want you to fulfill your vows to the Most High.

15
Trust me in your times of trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory."

From this, I learnt: God doesn't want our sacrifice, our service, God wants a RELATIONSHIP WITH US!

God wants us to THANK Him

God wants us to TRUST Him

He doesn't even need our service / intercessions / offering / tithes. HE'S GOT IT ALL!

Learning this has freed me from guilt of not doing enough of the above religious acts.

Jesus, thank You for freeing me. May You minister to whomever's reading this too. Amen :)

I'm now a qualified driver!!!

2006-08-10T04:45:00.000+01:00

Passing a driving test has SUCH a wonderfully liberating effect.

I'd like to recount how this whole driving pursuit started.

Back in 2002, I failed my 1st attempt mid-August, just before I flew to London. There was no way I could get a re-test before flying in Sept so I (foolishly) cancelled my BBDC membership. From then, I carried a great discouragement and fearful impression of driving.

It's been irritating sometimes when relatives come over and when they see me, they ask "So when are you learning driving? Go and learn ah.... Once you start work, you don't have the time!" And I absolutely abhorred the nagging.

One day (sometime April 06) I was so irritated by the nagging that I told God, "Lord, I'm perfectly happy being ferried around by people and bus uncles. But if YOU want me to learn how to drive, then You'll have to give me a push factor. THank You."

The push factor came shortly after, on 10 May 06, in the form of a letter. 'You have been posted to AMK Secondary School at AMK Street 22'. I was 1st dumbfounded, then enraged, because I also remembered telling God 'Lord please post me anywhere as long as it's near my house.' I stay at CCK! I smsed all my friends, 'Did God make a mistake?'

My mom is incredible. Upon hearing the news she basically told me she'll loan me $3k to learn driving and she's alright with the idea of getting a 3rd car for me to drive to work. I'm amazed at how she's so willing to INVEST in my life, and the amount of trust she's given me.

I re-enrolled BBDC on 13 May 06, this time with the sore goal of GETTING A LICENSE ASAP. Basically I need to, in the shortest time possible,

(1) complete the 4 theory lessons so that I can book advannced theory evaluation ASAP
(2) complete advanced theory evaluation ASAP so that can book theory test
(3) buy new PDL (which is also my 3rd!!) ASAP
(4) complete stage 3 practical so that can book for test date ASAP

Guys, if you've any questions about BBDC, PLEASE JUST ASK ME because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made back in 2002 - I was so un-serious back then!! Never take up something you were never too serious about in the 1st place.

I look back and give God ALL THE GLORY because He graciously allowed me to do all the above AND pass my 2nd driving test, within 15 weeks, just under 3 months. I'm amazed and immensely thankful.

Glory hallelujah to the Lord who gives wonderful gifts to His children!

About how the test went:
The test on 7 August was horrendous. I was already very confident about driving by then (I whacked my driving over 30 lessons) but the pressure of having this guy sit next to you, eyeing you up and down and judging you FEELS TERRIBLE! I made so many unprecedented wrong moves, I couldn't believe I passed! Basically I

(1) stuck the curb in S course AND crank course, he even had to break for me! 10 pts
(2) swerved out of lane when returning from right turn
(3) did not check traffic ahead and turned right onto the slope to find another car up there!

I was so nervous throughout the test (and I absolutely couldn't control it), that had the test route been any longer, I really, really, really think I had failed. But God is VERY VERY VERY good because He answered my prayers to pass, to get a very nice tester (God bless Mr. Soon!!!!!!! Thank God I wasn't given killer P**!), and a relatively short test route at BUKIT BATOK and NOT TECK WHYE! I'm so thankful, so thankful.

Jesus receive all the celebration praise!!

Revamp!

2006-08-10T04:18:00.000+01:00

Dear friends,

You must have noticed that (1) this blog has moved and (2) it hasn't been updated for quite a whole.

(1) happened because a colleague gave my personal email to the students in the school I'm teaching in now, and I was shocked to find that upon googling my ex-userid, ALL my personal stuff (photos n all) came out, hence the change, for privacy purposes.

(2) happened because for a long time I struggled with the purposes of my blog. It used to be to updated homies about my life in London but now that I'm back, I'm less convicted about that purpose.

Not till recently when, upon asking the Lord this question, He put it in my heart a new purpose for my blog:

To journal what He's been teaching me, so that I can (a) keep track and be reminded of God's faithfulness, and (b) encourage others who swing by.

And of course, where I feel like it, to let y'all know what I've been doing and stuff. :)

Here's to a new blogging season!

2006-05-02T15:22:00.000+01:00

cute guys + pretty girls @ ubin cycling trip

2006-05-02T15:21:00.000+01:00

Me + lovelies @ practicum

2006-05-02T15:20:00.000+01:00

wacky family photos

All these and more @ my resurrected photo page:
http://sonicsand.multiply.com/photos

My first Korean movie.

2006-02-17T16:03:00.000Z

Believe it or not, I watched my 1st Korean movie today. A Season for Love. Combination of 4 stories, very different from Love Actually. A very good movie, albeit with sad endings, and that means you'd better bring that packet of tissue. I love the way certain scenes were filmed from a rather witty point of view, and the background music was effective for the mood, albeit they could do with a few more songs than playing the same old ones. I give it 5 popcons, go watch!!

I also think one girl (don't know her name, but she acts as the news reporter) really looks like Abrie!!! (She's the one on the top right)

Me, God, and tissue paper.

2006-02-16T14:51:00.000Z

10:32pm

This evening, I did not go to CG. At about 9:20pm I decided to take the chair to the front porch area, and sat there with God and begin defragmenting like I did the other day, which was shiok. Today's session was super shiok too. Today, I was so real with God. I spoke out loud to Him, and in singlish, in chinese, in utter honesty, of which at many points I was disgusted with mysefl and couldn't accept myself. What irony. Because God accepts me, and I can't accept myself!

It was just me, God, and tissue paper. Awesome.

Honestly, I enjoy this dark night of the soul. This whole season of discouragement. It's so wonderful just being human. And being with a God who understands I'm only human. I didn't want to go CG, and I'm at peace about it now, because I know the Lord accepts it, and I know it's actually better for me. I think it's acceptable for me to react to discouragement this way, and to manifest my inability, my inconsistency, my instability this way, and I love it when God knows and understands it. I just love my God.

........

The song 'Times of Refreshing' has never carried more weight.

Times of refreshing
Here in Your presence
No greater blessing
Than being with You

My soul is restored
My mind is renewed
There's no greater blessing
Than being with You

I don't know how I'm going to fully enjoy the song if I'm in a room, encaved in 4 walls... I truly loved singing that song when I was out in the open, directly under the sky, with grasshopper-noises around me, and a gentle (for once not artificial) night breeze passing by me.

I have yet to do my Critical Review.

2006-02-12T08:31:00.000Z

Rachel visited Singapore!! We had a glorious time, albeit initially it was very weird fellowshipping with her without 3 layers of wool, not forgetting gloves, cap and thick socks.

2006-02-12T08:30:00.000Z

Rachel and my grandma outside our house!

2006-02-12T08:29:00.001Z

Close-up of the yummies we had

2006-02-12T08:29:00.000Z

Rachel about to feast on pigs organ soup, char kway teow and 'or char ger' (or black carrot cake) !!!!! There's no where else you can get them besides in Singapore and Malaysia!!!!!!!!

2006-02-12T08:28:00.000Z

Rachel, me and dad at our living room

2006-02-05T14:20:00.000Z

My mom decided to dig out photos of old. That's me on the left, playing the drums while crying non-stop on stage.

2006-02-05T14:17:00.000Z

Here's just a few more miscellaneous photos. Me and wheelsies when we were young. We're so cute!!!!!

2006-02-05T14:16:00.000Z

Me and Beining

2006-02-05T14:15:00.000Z

My hilarious daddy. Love his serious expression when he takes photos. Hide says he's the HUMAN TRIPOD!

Glorious stuff!

2006-02-05T13:19:00.000Z

Here are some freshest photos of recent happenings for your enjoyment!

We had a mini Malacca tour during our CNY!

2006-02-05T13:18:00.002Z

This place has the most glorious chendol. I'll never ever ever ever forget how BLACK the gula malacca is

2006-02-05T13:18:00.001Z

Me and my cousins in Jipeh's place at Muar, Johor. Amazed at how fast children grow.

2006-02-05T13:18:00.000Z

Reunion Dinner @ McNair Road. Had the loveliest coffee-powered pork ribs!

2006-02-05T13:16:00.000Z

Glorious roti chanai breakfast @ muar with uncle and pretty cousin Beining!

2006-02-05T13:15:00.002Z

This is what I'd call a REALLY good harvest. A tree that bears MUCH fruit! Look at all the jambu! Lord I wanna bear fruits a hundred fold too!

2006-02-05T13:15:00.001Z

Family photo - think we were celebrating my baptism cum mommy's birthday!

2006-02-05T13:15:00.000Z

Very bizarre. Me talking to Ostrich, Mom smiling at camera. Zoo at Desaru Fruit Farm.

2006-02-05T13:14:00.000Z

Crazy kisses on mommy!!!

2006-02-05T13:13:00.001Z

Me and pastor Kok Fai in pool, very sheepish looking! (mind you, the water was cold)

2006-02-05T13:13:00.000Z

This was way back last Nov when we were on a laugh-non-stop family trip to Desaru. We took this in a CAKE SHOP!!!! :)

2006-02-05T13:12:00.000Z

Photo taken after my baptism in my church level 1

2006-01-28T03:04:00.000Z

Gan Ann, Gan Heng, Kuan Meng, Edwin, Chun Choon. Ervin, Raymond and moi! It was a really wonderful time of fellowship. :)

2006-01-28T03:02:00.000Z

Ervin's 23rd Birthday @ Crystal Jade HV

2006-01-09T14:56:00.000Z

I am overcome with joy because of Your unfailing love,
for You have seen my troubles,
and You care about the anguish of my soul.
You have not handed me over to my enemy but have set me in a safe place.

Prophecy about what is to come

2005-12-03T00:12:00.000Z

Read an article which is quite disturbing. A prophecy about what is to come. Please take a read.

"The Five Angels of the Continents"

Dr. Samuel DoctorianAugust 16,1998Forwarded by a WStS reader:Message given by Dr. Samuel Doctorian 16th August 1998 on the Isle of PatmosThis message was transcribed by Ruthanne Garlock from a tape we received in Singapore on August 30th, 1998 from Wee Tiong How. He had just returned from the Isle of Patmos where he attended a prayer retreat with a small group of Singaporeans, and where Samuel Doctorian related this experience to them. We do not personally know Dr.Doctorian (a naturalized American), but his ministry is well spoken of by many of our friends in Singapore.

"I was here alone in a house on the Isle of Patmos for several weeks to pray and seek the Lord. I found a little chapel - St. Nicolas's Chapel - where no one ever goes. I went there and poured out my heart before God. I found a rock on the side of a hill where I would go to sit and pray - meditation and reading the Bible. I ate very little during those days. Several times I went to the cave of John where he saw the great Revelation.While meditating for one month in this solitary place, I thought, "I wonder if the Lord will ever send a tenth angel?" I'd seen angels nine times before - in England, in Belgrade, Yugoslavia, in Amman, Jordan, in Jerusalem, and angel that delivered a woman from being hanged in upper Egypt; I saw the ninth angel in Beirut in the midst of war. The angel physically awakened me at 3:00 in the morning and told me to get out of the country immediately. I am grateful to the Lord until today - I don't know what might have happened to me if the angel had not come. Heaven will tell that one-day. So I wondered whether I would see an angel for the tenth time. There were times when I was praying when I felt such presence I asked, "Lord, I wonder if an angel is coming now? " But it was not so. One night I even dreamt about an angel. He told me to fly in my dream and I did - but that was only a dream. I wanted to see a real angel, as I had seen nine times before.On June 20 at 3:50am, here in Patmos suddenly my room was full of light, and there are no lights around here. It is a house all by itself at the end of the road near a monastery. Lo and behold, when I was wide-awake - I saw five beautiful angels. I saw their faces -perfect and human-like, but full of light. I saw their eyes, their hair, their hands.On my right side were two angels, and when I looked to the left I saw three other angels with wings. They had beautiful white robes falling to the floor - something I can't describe with human words. I wondered why five angels had come, but I was trembling and shaking. I wanted to cry, but I could not. Just before I saw these angels in the Spirit. I had seen myself in a great meeting of multitudes, and I was preaching in English. An interpreter was on my left with dark hair and a grey suit, but I can't remember what language he was speaking. I was prophesying this message: "My church, you preach love, you teach love, but you need to practice love - to show love. There is need of unity in my body. There are many divisions among you. My spirit will not move and work where there is no unity. There is carnality in my church; too much uncleanness in my church. I desire and I want a holy people. I died to made you holy." While I was prophesying in the spirit I was trembling. My eyes opened and I was looking at the great multitude. And suddenly, in the midst of the prophecy, these mighty angels appeared. I went back from the pulpit and thought I was going to fall down. I am now wide-awake, but this is all happening in the spirit. Some power helped me not to fall down and I wondered what was happening.Then suddenly the first angel on my right side said," We are five angels from the five continents. We are here to give you messages from the five continents of the world." The moment I heard that, I also heard the multitude crying out, "Ohhh, Ohhh, Ohhh;" I believe that multitude saw the angels also. Somehow the Lord showed me that in the days to come, in many parts of the world, God is going to reveal Himself through ministering angels. It's going to happen publicly; it's going to happen in churches - thousands of people seeing angels at the same time. They will be ministering to the Body in these last days. Then came this message from the angels:" What you see and hear, tell it to the nations." So it's not something to keep to myself. Whether they accept it or don't accept it, I have to tell it to the nations.FIRST ANGEL:The first angel said:" I have a message for all of Asia." When he said that, in a spilt few seconds, I could see all of China, India, the Asian countries like Vietnam, Laos - I've never been to those countries. I saw the Philippines, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia. And then the angel showed me all of Papua New Guinea, Irian Jaya and down to Australia and New Zealand."I am the angel of Asia," he said. And in his hand I saw a tremendous trumpet that he is going to blow all over Asia. Whatever the angel said, it's going to happen with the trumpet of the Lord all over Asia. Millions are going to hear the mighty voice of the Lord. Then the angel said, "There shall be disaster, starvation - many will die from hunger. Strong winds will be looked like has never happened before. A great part shall be shaken and destroyed. Earthquakes will take place all over Asia and the sea will cover the earth.I saw this on June 20. Today is August 16. A few weeks ago I heard the news of villages completely wiped out and washed into the sea in Papua New Guinea. Thousand of lives in great jeopardy. That happened a few weeks ago, and the angel told me it is going to happen all over Asia. "The earth will fall into the sea," I heard the angel say," part of Australia will be shaken. Australia will be divided, and a great part will go under the ocean. "This was frightening - I wondered whether I was hearing right. But the angel said," Millions will die in China and in India. Nation will be against nation, brother against brother. Asians will fight each other. Nuclear weapons shall be used, killing millions." Twice I heard the words, " Catastrophic! Catastrophic!" then the angel said, "Financial crisis will come to Asia. I will shake the world."I was trembling while the angel was speaking. Then he looked at me and smiled and said," There shall be the greatest spiritual awakening - bondage will be broken. Barriers will be removed. And all over Asia - China - India - people will turn to Christ. In Australia there shall be tremendous revival." I heard the angel of Asia say, " It is the last harvest." Then as if the Lord were speaking, he said," I shall prepare My church for the return of Christ." I was happy with such good news after the message of judgment. All the time the five angels were in my room I could feel their presence - it was tremendous.SECOND ANGEL:Then I saw that the second angel had a sickle in his hand, such as is used in harvesting. The second angel said," Harvest time has come in Israel and the countries all the way to Iran." I saw those countries in a few split seconds. "All of Turkey and those [inaudible;] countries that have refused me and refused my message of love shall hate each other and kill one another." I saw the angel raise the sickle and come down on all the Middle East countries.I saw Iran, Persia, Armenia, Azerbaijan, all of Georgia - Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Israel, all of Asia Minor - full of blood. I saw blood all over these countries. And I saw fire; Nuclear weapons used in many of those countries. Smoke rising from everywhere. Sudden destruction - men destroying one another.I heard these words, " Israel, Oh Israel, the great judgment has come." The angel said, "The chosen, the church, the remnant, shall be purified. The Spirit of God shall prepare the children of God." I saw fires rising to heaven. The angel said," This is the final judgment. My church shall be purified, protected and ready for the final day. Men will die from thirst. Water shall be scarce all over the Middle East. Rivers shall dry up, and men will fight for water in those countries." The angel showed me that the United Nations shall be broken in pieces because of the crisis in the Middle East. There shall be no more United Nations. The angel with the sickle shall reap the harvest.THIRD ANGEL:Then one of the angels with wings showed me Europe from one end to the other - from the north all the way down to Spain and Portugal. In his hand he had a scale of measurement. I saw him fly over Europe, and I heard the words, " I am grieved. I am grieved. Unrighteousness, uncleanness, ungodliness - all over Europe. The sin has risen to heaven. The Holy Spirit is grieved." I saw the rivers of Europe flooding and covering millions of houses. Millions drown. After seeing this, I read the news a few weeks ago. Czechoslovakia had the worst flooding ever. I also heard that the big river in China is in tremendous danger of thousands of houses being destroyed in flooding. I didn't know all this news until after I had seen the vision and heard what the angels told me.Suddenly I heard earthquakes all over Europe. " Countries that have had no earthquakes shall be shaken," said the angel. And suddenly, in my spirit, I saw the Eiffel Tower in Paris crumbling falling down. A great part of Germany destroyed. The great city of London - destruction everywhere. I saw floods all over Scandinavia. I looked to the south and saw Spain and Portugal passing through hunger and great destruction.Many will die from hunger all over Spain and Portugal. I was disturbed by all this news, and I said," Lord, what about your children?" The angel said," I shall prepare them. They shall be looking for the appearing of the Lord. Many will cry to me in those days and I will save them. I shall perform mighty miracles for them and show them My power." So in the midst of great destruction, there will be the grace of God in those countries. I was happy that God has His protection over His children.FOURTH ANGEL:Now we go to Africa. I saw the fourth angel with wings fly over Africa, and I could see from Capetown in the south all the way to the north of Cairo - I saw all the countries there, more than fifty of them. The angel of Africa had a sword in his hand - a tremendous, sharp sword. Suddenly I heard him say, " Innocent blood has been shed. Divisions amongst the people generations far from the Lord - they have killed one another, thousands of people. I have seen my faithful children in Africa, and I shall reward all the faithful in the continent of Africa. I shall bless them abundantly. I shall control the weather - scorching and burning of the sun in some parts. Great rivers shall dry up, and millions will die from starvation. In other parts, flooding. Foundations shall be shaken. My sword shall judge the unrighteous and the bloodthirsty. So many earthquakes shall happen that rivers shall flow different directions in the continent, flooding many villages." I saw great pieces falling from the sky over different parts of Africa " There shall be trembling of the earth like has not been seen since the creation. None shall escape the sword of the Lord." I saw the River Nile drying up. It is the god of Egypt. Fishes dead and stinking all over Egypt. A great part of the middle of Africa will be covered with water - millions dying. "Lord," I said, "It is all bad news. All destruction. Any good news?" The Lord said, "The final day has come. Judgment day is here. My love has been refused now, and the end has come." I was shaking and trembling. I thought I cannot bear it.FIFTH ANGEL:Then I saw the last angel flying over North and South America - all the way from the North Pole down to Argentina. >From the east of the U.S.A. to California. I saw in his hand a bowl. The angel said he would pour out over these countries the judgments that were in the bowl. Then I heard the angel say, "No justice anymore. No righteousness. No holiness. Idolatry. Materialism. Drunkenness. Bondage of sin. Shedding of innocent blood - millions of babies being killed before they are born. Families are broken. An adulterous generation. Sodom and Gomorrah is here. The days of Noah are here. False preachers. False prophets. Refusing of my love. Many of them have the imitation of religion, but denying the real power.When I heard all that, I begged the angel, "Can you not wait for a little while? Don't pour it. Give a chance for repentance." The angel said, "Many times God has spared and has spoken, but they have not listened. His patience has come to an end. Beware, the time has come. They have loved money and pleasure more than they have loved Me." As the angel began to pour from the bowl in his hand, I saw tremendous icebergs melting. When that happened I saw floods all over Canada and North America - all the rivers flood; destruction everywhere. I heard the world market collapsing with mighty earthquakes, and New York skyscrapers were tumbling - millions dying.I saw ships in the ocean sinking. I heard explosions all over the north country. I saw the angel pouring over Mexico and two oceans joining together- the Atlantic and the Pacific. A great part of north Brazil covered with water, the Amazon River turning into a great sea. Forests destroyed and flooded. Major cities in Brazil destroyed; earthquakes in many places. As the angel poured, great destruction took place in Chile and Argentina as never before. The whole world was shaking. Then I heard the angel say," This will happen in a very short time." I said, "Can't you postpone? Don't pour these things out all over the globe." And suddenly I saw the five angels standing around the globe lifting up their hands and their wings towards heaven and saying, "All glory to the Lord of heaven and earth. Now the time has come and He will glorify His Son. The earth shall be burned and destroyed. All things shall pass away. The new Heaven and New Earth shall come. God shall destroy the works of the devil forever. I shall show My power - how I will protect My children in the midst of all this destruction.Be ready for that day, for the Lord has come.My room was full of light from the brightness of the angels. Then suddenly they ascended up to heaven. As I looked up I saw the angels go in five directions. I know they already have started their duties. For more than an hour I could not move. I was wide-awake, trembling from time to time. I said, " Lord, shall I leave Patmos now?" He said, "No, I brought you here for a purpose." I said," The message from the angels all over the world is not good news. It is judgment, punishment, destruction, devastation. What will people say about me? I've always been a preacher of love, peace and good news." The angel said," It is our message. You are the instrument, the channel. What a privilege that God has chosen you to give this message to the nations. "I said," Lord, Thy will be done." To God be the glory.Scripture Reference: 1 Thess 4:13-18; 5:1-11; Hebrews 12:22-29; 2 Peter 3:1-131 Thessalonians 4:13-18

"13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. 15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. 16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: 17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. 18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words."
1 Thessalonians 5:1-11
"1 But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you. 2 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. 3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. 4 But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. 5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness. 6 Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober. 7 For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night. 8 But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation. 9 For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him. 11 Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do."
Hebrews 12:22-29
"22 But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, 23 To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, 24 And to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel. 25 See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven: 26 Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven. 27 And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain. 28 Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: 29 For our God is a consuming fire."
2 Peter 3:1-13
"1 This second epistle, beloved, I now write unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance: 2 That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour: 3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, 4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. 5 For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water: 6 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: 7 But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. 8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness, 12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat? 13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness."
01-16-05 Asian Tsunamis of 2004 and Endtime Christianity ---New Windowby Tom Stewart"What does God have to do to get our attention? This brings us to the events of December 26th 2004, where an undersea earthquake with a magnitude of 9.0 occurred in the Indian Ocean off the western coast of northern Sumatra and Indonesia, thus generating a series of tsunamis, whose massive, 50 foot (15 meter) high waves devastated Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, and other coastal nations over the next seven hours, killing more than 150,000-- with a greater death toll feared for those missing never to be found and those who would become casualties of disease and starvation." Right-click link to download as PDF.

Original website: http://www.whatsaiththescripture.com/Prophets/The.5.Angels.of.Continents.html

Some recent fave pics

2005-11-15T03:57:00.001Z

my lovely current wallpaper!

2005-11-15T03:57:00.000Z

me and mom - a nice one we took when we went china in june

2005-11-15T03:56:00.000Z

me and dots before she left for london

2005-11-15T03:54:00.000Z

me and wheels

My Dental Recount

2005-11-10T03:56:00.000Z

Allow me to share with you what the Lord taught me during my visit to the dentist.

Today at 9:14am I stepped out of my house for doom and torture set to begin at 9:30am.

I made my way towards the dental clinic.

I had braced myself for a few weeks, since my lower right molar started to hurt. I just KNEW what was going to happen. I'd lay there, the doctor would shine the light down into my teeth, and after a few checks with the round mirror inserted into my mouth she'd and say "Sandra, OK I see about 4 big cavities ah. You see?" (Then she'd show them to me one by one.) "I don't think I'm going to be done with you in today's appointment. I'll just clean your teeth for today, but you'll have to re-schedule an appointment next week." This was what happened during my last visit in september.
.....

I arrived the clinic right on time, but had to wait till about 9:53am before it was my turn. During my wait I assured myself. Sandra, if the Lord has called you to do something, His grace will be sufficient to bring you through it. Come on, it's just a little pain. You can take it.

The nurse opened the door. "Sandra? Come in..." Dr. Leong, a woman in her forties, has the same pair of motherly eyes, and it's especially warming when she smiles. It occurred to me that her face remains a mystery, for she always has her mask on.

After a few greetings, just before I could lay myself down, I said "I need to tell you that I've been feeling a pain on my lower right molar, and so if it's a very deep cavity, could you please give me an anesthetic jab?" She smiled and said, "Let's see how it goes."

So the torment began. I laid down and she shone the very bright light into my mouth. Nothing could be hidden, not with the combination of the little round mirror dancing around my teeth. How apt. Just a few minutes ago, while trying to take my mind off the impending anxiety, I was reading Dr. Henry Cloud's book on Boundaries, and he mentioned this: "because of our fears, we hide aspects of ourselves in the darkness, where the devil has an opportunity... [but] healing always takes place in the light." I've been hiding in the dark for too long, having avoided the dentist for about 14 months now.

I began to pray. Take my life now, Lord! Or knock me out unconscious. Let everything happen when I'm unaware. Your grace is sufficient, right? Right, Lord? No, there wasn't any booming voice with the assuring "Yes, My child..." or anything like that.

It hadn't even been a minute when Dr. Leong turned off the bright light, lifted the chair and said "Come Sandra, let's take an X-ray to find out.", to which I responded by dilating my pupils with mouth wide open for about 8 seconds. Grace, Lord Jesus. Grace...

I sat on the X-ray chair, was instructed to use my finger to keep an X-ray card upright in my teeth, and praise the Lord for efficient technology - the x-ray took a grand total of 4 seconds.
Dread continues. I walked back to the dental chair, laid down, and Dr. Leong said she will clean my teeth while waiting for the X-ray result. Great! This is the fun part. The rubbing of some sweetish thing against my teeth. Before she did that, however, she took a sharp thing and lined it against the area near my gums, and this brough a little pain especially to my lower incisors. I hated that already - and I had to brace myself for more. It would be any time now, before she would have to reveal the news that I had x number of cavities. I tried to distract myself. Thank You Jesus.... for Your love to me.... Thank You Jesus... for Your grace so free.... All the time my hands tightly clasped.

While doing all the cleaning she took a look at the X-ray photo, after which she returned it to the nurse and went right on continuing the business on my teeth. She's so kind, I thought, to hold back the news till later. Surely she's gonna tell me that the cavities reached my inner nerves and the molar needs an extraction.

With every time she instructed me to rinse my mouth and to lay back down on my seat, I just had to brace myself for more, because I just knew the journey in this room would be long.
Suddenly my eyes caught Dr. Leong lifting up the daunting huge needle with green liquid inside. SO FAST?? She hasn't even explained that I need an anesthetic jab and she's already doing it??? Maybe it's good. The less I know, the better. But all I felt was a cool trickling around my teeth. She was spraying it on them! PHEW!

"Sandra, rinse your teeth." PHEW!!!! But I had to catch myself. It's just the beginning, don't rejoice too soon.

After about another 3 minutes of rather painless cleaning, she said "OK Sandra, I'll take my mirror so that you can see..." She reached for a mirror somewhere, then put it right before my eyes, while showing me my teeth. "Can you see the tiny white teeth deep inside?" Gosh! WISDOM TOOTH! I never knew I had one! "It's your wisdom tooth, and it's the cause of the pain you've been feeling. Also you can see that you haven't kept it very clean around that region."

She then turned off the dental light, lifted the chair, then explained further. "Your wisdom teeth is very small because there's no space for it to grow. You might need to be admitted to hospital to undergo a surgery if it continues to give you problems, but if it doesn't, then you can come back later, and we'll see how it goes from there."

I didn't dare assume anything, but I saw the MOST INCREDIBLE THING: the nurse started to remove the apron around me, and she threw away the plastic cup I used to rinse my mouth! So in utter disbelief I asked Dr. Leong, "So that's it for today?"

"Yes. That's it for today."

"I have no cavities??"

"No, no cavities." She smiled. "Remember? Last time I drilled into you to brush your teeth correctly, so you've improved!"

I really, really, really, REALLY couldn't believe it. "OH MY GOODNESS... Every dental visit for the last don't-know-how-many years I've had at least 3 cavities each..." I was in deep shock and relief!!!

After some profuse thanking, I left the clinic, AMAZED at how this must have been the quickest dental appointment I've ever had in my life, and had to try to look calm while waiting to pay the bill - deep inside my heart was pounding, my mind thanking the Lord profusely and bowled over by how He REALLY shocked me by the grace He showed me.

This dental appointment taught me 2 things.

1. I could try to hide for as long as I want to, but one day I would have to visit the dentist, and all my teeth would have to be exposed, naked, under the dentist's light.

But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.
Therefore He says, "Awake, sleeping ones! And arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light!"
See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

And this dental exposure only foreshadows the greater exposure that is to come.
Everything will be put under the bright light of the Lord Jesus Christ one day.
Will I be ready?
Will I be awake?
Will I find myself like I was today at the clinic, shuffling my feet nervously, worrying about how I have not been consistently using Listerine, or brushing my molars carefully?

Will I find myself deeply embarrassed before the face of the Lord Jesus, my heart begging "Lord! Give me another chance?? Not now..." ?
Or will I beam at the Lord, confidently saying "Lord, I've done what You've called me to do.
"I've run my race, I've fought the good fight, I know I'm clean before You. I'm ready to meet You." ?

2. This dental appointment revealed my tiny threshold of pain. My corwardly spirit.

But the cowardly, and the unbelieving, and the abominable, and murders, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, will have their part in the Lake burning with fire and brimstone, which is the second death. Rev 21:8

If a little drill on my incisor stirs up this much dread, fright and discomfort from within me, how will I take it when I get hit by electric batons in jails, or slapped, or beaten, or whipped, if I get persecuted for the glory of the Lord?
May the Lord give you and me dying grace, but more so, a heavenly-mindedness, that we will know in our spirits that we may suffer for as long as we are in our temporal physical body, but if we are born twice, we only die once. The temporary pain will come to an end, thereafter we enter into paradise with the Lord Jesus. Wouldn't we be encountering ETERNAL joy, never feeling tired? Or pain?
Change my perspectives, O Lord, that I won't be found a cowardly soldier of the Lord!

Risk

2005-10-09T11:48:00.000+01:00

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk
nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow,
or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
Only a person who takes risks is free.

Ann Landers

10 Keys to Choosing Your Life Partner

2005-10-03T10:12:00.000+01:00

Time for some advertisement..... (thanks to JoGi!)

This seminar examine the liberating biblical principles that govern our choice of a mate. We will also be discussing some of the practical issues involved in
making that choice.

Coverage includes:

Biblical Principles on Relationship
Differentiating Between Love & Infatuation
Making Sense of Your Sexuality
How to Date with Decency
The Concept of Courtship
Practical Issues in Choosing a Mate
What to Look For in a Man/Woman
Come and examine this critical issue of choice that can enrich or endanger your life.

This seminar also includes an interactive forum where participants can pose questions to the speaker for discussion.

Speaker: Pastor Benny Ho

Date: 8 October 2005, Saturday
Time: 9.00am - 12.00pm (Registration starts at 8.30am)
Venue: Bible House
5th Floor Chapel
7 Armenian Street
Singapore 179932

Fees: S$10.00 per person

Bring 2 or more friends and each will pay only $9.00
First 50 participants will receive a Free Gift upon complete registration.
Fees include seminar notes and tea break.

Please add me on MSN again

2005-09-16T11:03:00.000+01:00

Guys,

MSN buay song with Yahoo so as a result I've got to sign in with a new email address.
Please add me with my latest email address, many, many, many thanks!

Sands

Oh!

2005-09-16T04:42:00.000+01:00

How I abhor the woes of essay writing!

10 thoughts I had today:

2005-09-09T17:49:00.000+01:00

1. Peter Stead is an AMAZING teacher and I hope I'll be as good a teacher as him!!! :)

2. I think Dalcroze IS THE WAY to teaching music, man!

3. I decided to indulge today, considering it's the start of term break. (Yes, fellow NIE colleages I hear ye say "What term break?") I ate a blueberry chewy ice-cream cone (too sweet, people.) and an eclair from Polar. Wheeler says get those from Delifrance next time.

Ice cream with Wenmin at NIE canteen!! :)

4. Israel and New Breed rock BIG TIME. Thanks so much for introducing Gospel music to me, Raymes!!!!!

5. Let's see what I could do with me free time this week?
a. Educational Psychology Essay
b. Moodle assignment
c. Kelly Tang's film assignment
I sure look forward to it. (And I'm not being sarcastic, guys. These things can be really interesting.)

6. Sunday night is movie night with Wheels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. I can't wait to play for worship!!!! Yahoo to saturday 4-630pm, sunday 1115-1145am!!

8. Finally took photos with my NIE colleagues. :) Check them out:

Music CS1 people - cosy 8 of us! Moi, Audrey, Aik Keong, Shahril, Dr. Wong (Ed Psych tutor), Nicholas, Shehfeng, Loonz and Allison!

More photos for your perusal at http://sonicsand.multiply.com/photos/album/48

9. My dad sings VERY WELL. I'm very proud of him!

10. I'm gonna sleep as soon as I click on 'Publish Post'.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

My first lesson plan exam!

2005-09-08T07:09:00.000+01:00

I just came out of an exam in NIE. We were required to come up with a lesson plan incorporating skills on speaking, listening and grammar. We were given a text type (narrative), and a brief description of the class we were to be teaching (sec 3 express from good autonomous school), and were given 1 hr 45 min to design the lesson plan.

I took a good 45 minutes to come up with the pre-activity!!!! I googled the above picture, and my plan was to get my students to break into groups of 4 to discuss the picture, and to infer as much as they could from it.

I panicked a lot more than I expected. Man, it sure isn't easy to come up with a comprehensive, fun and effective lesson. I sure lack the experience. My mum, however, reassured me after we prayed in the car, "You'll be an expert by the time you do your 100th lesson plan".

This morning I was so worried about this in-class exam that I fell ill! But it only magnified the Lord's grace on me so much more. He provided me with the most supportive mom in the world, and also, a most delightful grandmother. They supported me, prayed for me, cared for me, massaged me, encouraged me. I LOVE THEM!!! Thank You Lord for them!!! I discovered that I really, really am a little princess. :)

Cheesecake Party

2005-09-04T16:52:00.000+01:00

After 2nd service the YAYAs (young adults young adults) trooped to Landridge Condominium for Duck Rice, Kang Kong and (absolutely gorgeous, better to secret recipe / sweet secrets / coffee bean / starbucks) CHEESE CAKE.

Courtesy of princess Ah Wei.

Here are some glorious photos:

The princesses: Aunty Bel, Leesh, Chrissy Babes, Moi, Ah Wei, Xiao Ann

2005-09-04T16:50:00.001+01:00

Aaron, me, Yeow Chong. Varied expressions on face.

2005-09-04T16:50:00.000+01:00

Jon and I

2005-09-04T16:49:00.000+01:00

Me and Xiaojia. CBF. (Cao Bin Face)

2005-09-04T16:48:00.001+01:00

Xiao Jia

2005-09-04T16:48:00.000+01:00

We were all squeezing in Minwei's dining room!!

Jesus is best for de-stress

2005-09-03T15:01:00.000+01:00

Some of you may know of my recent panic-attack in NIE due to stress from the immense workload.

Upon reaching home from Qi's cell and worship practice in church today, my mind was filled with thoughts - many negative ones - and all I was thinking of was ESCAPISM. Very bad way out, but an often-chosen one. I can be quite an escapist.

On the MRT home I was thinking of many things to do. Just de-stress, perhaps watch my newly bought Israel and New Breed DVD, or one of my new VCD's from TS-Link. Maybe sleep.

Then I just knew that all that wouldn't help. I knew that having done all that, surely I would still be as frustrated. As stressed.

I decided to write a letter to Jesus. I copped my beautiful Fujitsu laptop, opened a Word Document, and began typing Jesus a letter.

Dear Jesus,

We need to talk.

There are so many things on my mind and I'm feeling so discouraged right now.........

Sorry, the rest is censored. :) I tell Jesus all my complaints and secrets.

But the best thing is that it He talks back to me as I talk to Him. (Or, type to Him.) He began correcting me of some wrong thoughts, alerting me to some false notions, and in all honesty, after about half an hour of casting my cares on Him, much of the frustration left me.

It always works when we ask Him to fill us with peace. He'll give, most generously.

Raymond recently recommended me Selwyn Hugh's Every Day with Jesus and MAN, IT'S GOOD STUFF. All I read was the prelude and Day 1 of the devotional reading and I've highlighted 4 sentences which I hope I'll never forget. Excellent stuff. Grab a copy if you can.

Yumms. Ahma just delivered some peeled longans. I love my Ahma to the max!!! :)

Finally, I return...

2005-09-02T16:26:00.001+01:00

It's been ages since I last updated!!!

Finally I decided that this blog needs a new look. :) Hope you like this fresh white and pink layout.

And *phew*... thank God my Archives are back too.

It's been a month and 2 days into NIE life, and I'm thanking and praising the Lord everyday!!! Key things I thank God for EVERY TIME:

1. The super shiok variety, amount and yumminess of our canteen food and the fact that it's all SO CHEAP!!! (Bye bye forever, egg and cress sandwiches that cos GBP1.15!!

2. My excellent colleages :)

3. SBS Bus 180. Believe it or not, I absolutely love the journey to school. Plus the bus drivers. [Boo to TV Mobile!!!]

4. The wireless network in NIE!!!

5. The pedagogy. Stuff I'm learning is useful. :)

That's just a little update for you guys whom I've not been in contact for a while.

By the way, I've recently switched to Gmail, and man, it's excellent!!!!!!

Here are some photos of recent happenings for your enjoyment!

Studying Grammar in the NIE library... :)

2005-09-02T16:26:00.000+01:00

Darling Carolyn sippin' tea like a good'ol English lady... we had scones with strawberry conserve (more like jam, actually...) and clotted cream (more like butter... actually...) too......... :)

2005-09-02T16:24:00.000+01:00

Vincent, Minxian and Chiyon... taken in Sofitel, Johor, during out Alpha Weekend Away!

2005-09-02T16:23:00.000+01:00

Wheels... in our mommy's car, drivin' to church, groovin' to Israel and New Breed... :)

2005-09-02T16:22:00.000+01:00

My glorious mommy. The candle is a symbol of Jesus' light. Having been baptised, they now have the light of life in them! Glory glory!

2005-09-02T16:21:00.000+01:00

Ahma, pastor Gan Hock (my mom calls him leng zai!), mama and wheels

2005-07-08T02:18:00.001+01:00

Pictures taken from BBC.

These commuters had to walk in the tube tunnels to safety. This was at King's Cross, which is also super near my hall.

2005-07-08T02:18:00.000+01:00

It's particulary disturbing as I see this picture. This is the bus explosion at Tavistock Square which is super near Mark's place, and also, it's the route I take every other day from Canterbury Hall to ULU, where OCF takes place, and where I swim. It's disturbing because, like what Miriam said, London is like another home to me, having spent 3 years there, around the area of the disaster. Praise God for keeping Val Quay, Jo Chua and Andrew Loh safe, even as they were going to be there if not for the fact that all 3 of them overslept. It must have been Jesus' awesome plan. Praise God!

London Blasts

2005-07-07T16:28:00.000+01:00

Praise the Lord for keeping these friends safe. (I'm putting it here to keep you informed just in case you were worrying)

Melody (in Buxton)
Xinjin
Tom
Mel Heng
Roland
Jo Chua
Jillian
Leon
Timothy (UCL)
Katie (in Scotland)
Val and Audrey
Yeejean
Eujin

A bit scary especially since the bus bomb took place at Tavistock Sq, Woburn place, which is super near where I stayed (Canterbury Hall), Mark's place, and Adrian's place. Russell Sq and King's Cross tubes were also just nearby.

Praise to Jesus for keeping all my friends safe, as far as I know. Let's continue to pray for London and our friends there.

However, have yet to hear from

Ijeoma
Martin

Anyone who knows about them, please let me know ASAP. Thank you.

More photos!

2005-07-01T04:48:00.000+01:00

Just a few more favourite pics from my daddy's camera, from our recent Silk Road tour. Enjoy!!!

Daddy, me, and Mommy inside a Meng Gu Bao!

2005-07-01T04:47:00.000+01:00

A supremely cute girl I met at the tourist carpark, outside the desert at Urumqi. She's an Uighur, and they are muslims.

2005-07-01T04:46:00.000+01:00

These are kids from Lin Xia. They are the friendliest kids I've ever met in my life!!! All it took was 2 minutes of interaction before we took a photo together :)

Beautiful Singapore

2005-06-27T18:13:00.000+01:00

How can I thank the Lord enough for Singapore! It's such a wonderful country, and He's chosen me to be a Singaporean!!! I'm so thrilled and thankful.

I love the hot and humid weather to the max!! (That's also because I had really, really bad experience of the piercingly cold winter in London) And I love my family so much. I missed them when I was in London, and I want to cherish them now that we are together.

I am extremely happy and blessed to be back here. I believe the Lord has called me back for a reason, and I can't wait to discover what! :)

_________________________________

My heart's also been turning towards the nation of China, since my Silk Road tour. Was led to this website (http://backtojerusalem.com), and was encouraged by the articles featured there. Got to know about this website from the book The Heavenly Man.

Do read it, to be encouraged personally, and to discover the amazing things Jesus is doing in the nations today!

Beautiful China

2005-06-22T14:16:00.000+01:00

Went to China from 11-20th June, and it was a beautiful trip. China is beautiful, and I'm not just talking about the scenery... May the Lord bring me back there again.

We visited certain stops along the ancient Silk Road, and we went to Urumchi, Turpan, Jiayuguan, Jiuquan and Lanzhou.

Enjoy the photos!

2005-06-22T14:15:00.000+01:00

The kids there love to pose, and are extremely friendly! This was taken by the Huo Yan Shan.

2005-06-22T14:09:00.000+01:00

Ah Shuang, our tourguide in Chengdu

2005-06-22T14:06:00.000+01:00

My dad, at the busy shopping district of Chun Xi Lu, Chengdu

2005-06-22T14:03:00.001+01:00

We feasted like kings in every meal

2005-06-22T14:03:00.000+01:00

Sheep were in our way!

2005-06-22T14:02:00.000+01:00

The glorious Heavenly Lake, Urumqi

2005-06-22T14:01:00.000+01:00

Sheep being shepherded

2005-06-22T13:59:00.000+01:00

We had donkey rides in the desert of Urumqi.

2005-06-22T13:55:00.000+01:00

Me and Nu Er Bi Ya, an Uighur, at Turpan.

2005-06-22T13:53:00.000+01:00

My parents along the busy streets of Dun Huang

2005-06-22T13:51:00.001+01:00

me and trainee tourguide, Hu Zhen Zhen (we're of the same age!)

2005-06-22T13:51:00.000+01:00

2 kids we met at Lin Xia, near Lan Zhou.

Watch the videos I took in China on mu multiply site:
http://sonicsand.multiply.com/video/item/1

2005-06-09T02:48:00.000+01:00

How shall I pray?

Are tears prayers, Lord?

Are screams prayers,
or groans,
or sighs,
or curses?

Can trembling hands be lifted to You,
or clenched fists,
or the cold sweat that trickles down my back,
or the cramps that knot my stomach?

Will You accept my prayers, Lord,
my real prayers,
rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,
and not just my pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged
bouquet of words?

Will You accept me, Lord,
as I really am,
messed up mixture of glory and grime?

Ted Loder
Guerrillas of Grace

A few moments my departure...

2005-06-04T08:47:00.000+01:00

Dear God,

Someone once said that writing a novel is like driving at night with your headlights on - you can only see a few feet ahead, but you can make the entire trip that way.

Living a life is like that, too, I think. Certainly a life of faith.

Give me the grace, O God, to live such a life... and to realize that though the light given me is never as much as I would like, it is enough. It is enough.

(beautiful prayer by Ken Gire)

In an hour's time, I shut down my laptop, am disconnected from all online connections, rush to shop for gifts in Oxford Street for friends back home, board a plane, respire mid-air for 13 hours, touch down in a tropical island-country... and start a new chapter of my life.

Thank You, Lord. Your light for me shall be enough. Shall be enough.

Praise Night

2005-05-30T20:22:00.000+01:00

Just thanking the Lord for a glorious opportunity to play for Him with awesome people.
I thank God for each of you guys!!!

Joey, me, Ee Lyn, Tze, Melvin, Phinny